Have you ever had a one sided conversation? Perhaps you were at a gathering and found yourself engaging one on one with an acquaintence, co-worker or family member. You of course were attentive, curious and asked loads of questions as you held the possibility of making a connection. They in turn talked about themselves at length or answered your questions with brief answers and then…………….dead air. They didn’t ask you any questions in return. There was no reciprocity. No energy exchange. And any potential of intimacy fell flat. Another one sided conversation involves one with assumptions. Where the person you are talking to does attempt to ask you questions but then they answer what they think or assume you might say. Not a lot of listening. Again not a lot of room for intimacy. Have you ever been part of a one sided arguement? Where the individual doesn’t check in with you, they don’t take the time to hear your perspective and stay deeply embedded in their own stories and assumptions. Definitely a major intimacy blocker. One can be one sided or lopsided in many ways. We can be the giver and refuse to receive. We can be the receiver and have an aversion to give. We can be a fabulous giver to others but a lousy giver to ourselves. Or we might give to everyone out there in the community but at home we simply embody the receiver. Ultimately it all comes down to fear of intimacy. Intimacy in this context is defined as a balance between giving and receiving. An ongoing imbalance in either realm leads to a disconnect. As a very young child I was very confused by a traditional chinese family down the street. In their backyard they had an alter and each day would bring their deceased grandparents real food. It has only been these past years where I truly understood that reciprocity can have many faces and be expressed in so many ways. Whether in be in the spirit world, the financial realm (what are you doing to honor what money does for you?) or relationships, the place of balance is an essential ingredient in experiencing fulfillment.
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