NDERF INTERVIEW with Anita M
©Anita Moorjani 2006
Anita Moorjani was born in Singapore and then lived in Sri Lanka until she was 2 years old. An ethnic Sindhi woman from India, her family then moved to Hong Kong where she grew up speaking fluent Sindhi, Cantonese, and English, as well as being conversant with a multitude of cultural idioms. She was educated in English schools in Hong Kong and later studied in England before returning to Hong Kong to take up a senior management position for a French fashion company where she traveled all over the world using her multi-cultural, multilingual background in a variety of business and social settings. In December 1995, she married her husband and soulmate, Danny, who loves her unconditionally (and still does, despite her becoming an NDE freak now).In April 2002 she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and after nearly 4 years of battling the disease, she was taken to the intensive care unit of her local hospital in February 2006 where she was given less than 36 hours to live. Her remarkable NDE and seeming miraculous recovery from cancer has created enormous interest and commentary on an international scale.
NDERF: Hi Anita. It’s nice to talk to you again. It’s only been a few months since your NDE and recovery, so I was wondering how are you feeling these days? Has media and public interest in your experience had any effect on your ability to come and go as you please?
Physically, I’m feeling really great, thanks for asking. I don’t recall having this much energy at my disposal ever before. As for the media and public interest, that’s been a lot of fun. It’s not that people recognize me straight off the bat, you know. I mean, a lot of people have heard my story, but most don’t know what I look like, because they’ve mostly either read about me on the internet or heard about me on the radio. (I’m becoming a regular on Chinese radio!!) It’s only when I introduce myself that people say “ohhhhh, so you’rethe Anita that died!!” Another fun aspect is that I am getting a lot of invitations to attend social as well as spiritual gatherings. What I love most is that people keep hugging me. When they meet me, they say “I was really moved by your experience. Can I have a hug?” And of course, I say “sure!” I just love that part!!
NDERF: Yes, and I can see you are becoming an expert at giving cyberhugs on the forum. Now you can hug worldwide! What has been the most difficult part adjusting to 3-dimensional reality since returning from your experience?
That’s a good question. The most difficult part is not being able now to see this world in the same way as everyone else does. I don’t see things the same way as most people, nor can I process information in the same way I used to. I can’t. It feels like I have seen beyond the illusion of this physical world, and I can’t go back to thinking the way I used to. Sometimes I feel misunderstood. One of my fears is of becoming lonely, should no one understand me.
NDERF: Yes, I can imagine there would be a sense of loneliness that could come with an experience that is difficult to put into language. Can you tell me more about how this way of thinking affects your physical reality?
When I was in the NDE state, it felt like I had woken up to a different reality. It felt like I had awoken from the “illusion” of life, and from that perspective, it looked like my physical life was just a culmination of my thoughts and beliefs up to that point. It felt like the whole world was just a culmination of mass consciousness. That is, the culmination of everyone’s thoughts and beliefs. It felt like nothing was actually real, but we made it real with our beliefs. I understood that even my cancer was not real, it was also part of the illusion, so if I went back to my body, I would not have the cancer any more. And another thing is that there was this incredible understanding of how we are all interconnected. And how what I felt within me affects my whole universe. It felt like the whole universe is within me. As far as I am concerned, if I am happy, the universe is happy. If I love myself, everyone else will love me. If I am at peace, the whole universe is peaceful. And so on. Also, there is no such thing as time and space in that dimension. It felt like everything was happening simultaneously. I saw what could be interpreted as past lives, I saw what was happening currently (my brother on the plane, and conversations between my family members and doctors), and I also saw the future of this life pan out. But it was as if they were all happening at once, and I was living them all at once. It felt like, only after coming back, my mind has to process it as happening in linear time, but in that dimension, it didn’t feel that way at all. And distance and solid walls did not stop me from seeing and hearing everything that pertained to me at that time. So now, back into 3D life, it feels like even solid walls and distance only exist because we decide or believe them to exist.
NDERF: Wow, I can only imagine an experience like that would mess with your mind!! So can you tell me more about how the NDE has affected the way you think and process information now?
Well, first of all, my view of the world has totally blown apart. Over these months, I have had doctors telling me, over and over, that what happened to me is completely unexplainable. Medically, it should not be possible. They can’t figure out where the billions of cancer cells went in just a matter of days. Medically, every way they look at it, I should have died. My organs were shut down. Either the cancer should have killed me, the drugs should have killed me, or the billions of cancer cells trying to leave, flooding my shut down system, should have killed me. In view of what physically happened to me, I am no longer able to see any physical disability in the same light anymore! Where, in my own mind, would I draw the line between what is “fixable” or “curable” and what is not? By what scale or logic would I draw these conclusions from? Certainly not from what is “medically” possible! I can’t apply that to my life anymore. The word “impossible” has no meaning to me anymore. The boundaries of what is possible or not is very shady to me. I look at everything in our reality, including things like illness and aging, so differently. I challenge anything that is considered “natural” or “normal”. To me now, everything feels like human construct – that is, just another product of personal and mass belief. Having had the experience I have, it feels like nothing is real, but every single possibility exists. I now live my life knowing that I can create my own reality based on these new truths that I have learned.
NDERF: That’s a really powerful way to live. I want to go into what you say about creating your own reality, but before I do, just while on the topic of the physical body, it sounds as if you no longer see the challenges of illness in the same way – in fact, it almost sounds like you feel “invincible”. Can you elaborate more on that?
OK, before my experience, one of my biggest fears in life was cancer, another fear was chemo (I watched 2 people die while on chemo), and also I had a myriad of other fears. It was almost as if my life was being “caged” in by my fears. My experience of life was getting smaller and smaller. Now move forward to my NDE. This state caused a huge, internal consciousness shift within me. Seeing through the illusion was a big part of it, feeling connected to the entire universe was another part, and becoming aware of being flooded in an all-encompassing, loving, energy was also another factor. This was an energy of unconditional love – an energy that does not discriminate or judge. This universal energy is there for us no matter who or what we are. It was in this very awake state that I made the decision to come back into life. It was one powerful decision to come back and experience LIFE in this body again. You see, as soon as the choice to live or die was presented to me, I KNEW that once I made the decision, NOTHING outside of myself could kill me. NOTHING. Just the fact that I was presented with the choice and that I had made it real. And as soon as I made the decision, every single cell in my body responded to that decision, and I healed almost immediately.
The doctors continued to take tests, but could not find anything. I understood that everything that was being done after that – all the tests, biopsies, drugs, etc. etc. was being done to satisfy everyone around me, and although a lot of it was very, very painful, I KNEW that I would be fine. My higher self/soul/spirit/connection to all that is, whatever you want to call it, that part of me had decided to continue to live through this body, and nothing in this physical 3D world could affect that decision. It felt like any decision made from the real reality far outweighs anything in this “illusion”. This is that invincible feeling. The feeling that nothing outside of me can harm me.
NDERF: Do you think this feeling can be attained by others, or do you feel that it is something that can only be achieved either by an NDE or by a special few?
I strongly believe it is something that can be attained by others. I certainly don’t feel special, or chosen or anything like that, in any way. Perhaps one just needs to be at the right “place” psychologically in their physical lives for something like this to happen. It can certainly look like this is just a random event that happened to me. But bear in mind that I had cancer for nearly 4 years. During those four years, I changed dramatically. Living with terminal cancer at a reasonably young age and watching yourself deteriorate changes you and your perspective on life. It can’t not. I feel that those years “prepped” me for exactly the type of death experience that I had. I don’t know if I would have been emotionally mature enough to handle such a shift if it happened sooner, like say, without all the emotional and psychological “clearing” that took place within me from living with the cancer for almost 4 years. I feel that I had reached a place in my life that “allowed” this shift to happen. I was already at a point in my life where I wasn’t particularly attached to any way of thinking, and had also reached the stage of letting go of desiring any specific outcome. In my opinion, getting to this point was important for me. The NDE gave me that last “push” that I needed, to see beyond the illusion. And once I saw that the body is not the real me, and that the cancer was also just an illusion, I was then able to see how loved I am, and I recognized my own magnificence, and once I made the decision to live, the physical body only reflected this “new found” state. I’m sure there are people who are at exactly the right place internally, for such a shift to take place. And they don’t have to have an NDE for this to happen. Perhaps all they need to do is to bring into their awareness of what is possible. And perhaps, just by the fact that something like this has happened to me, I can be the catalyst for such an awareness to be brought into their reality. I believe that once people are willing to expand their minds to let in such occurrences into their own reality, it may even trigger off further inner work to allow for such a shift to happen within them. I don’t believe everyone has to have something as drastic as an NDE to see such miracles occur. Perhaps just a willingness to let go of beliefs which may be holding them back. From that state, where this life looked like an illusion, it looked like our strong attachment to certain beliefs is what holds the illusion in place. Perhaps a willingness to look at and let go of beliefs that may be holding us back could help us to move forward faster, as a mass consciousness.
NDERF: This now takes me back to a question I differed earlier. How do we create our reality
From the perspective of the other dimension, it really felt like nothing is real, only our beliefs about them make them so. Now knowing that, I review what I believe, and only hold on to what serves to expand my life, and let go of anything that feels restricting, or doesn’t make me feel positive in any way. I feel that once you start believing that something is possible, you start to let it into your awareness, and then it starts to become true for you. The more you believe it, the more it starts to become real for you. This is why it is so, very important to believe in positive things, rather than negative things. Whatever you believe, you will find that you are correct. The universe has a way of presenting to you exactly what you believe. If you think life is great, you are correct. If you think life is tough, you will be proved correct too. My own personal intention is to bring to people’s awareness what our human body is capable of doing, so that they can let it into their belief system. The more people start to believe it, the more we will start to see this kind of thing happening. For example, a miracle is only labeled such because it is an event outside of our belief system. Once we see it happen, we can start to believe it. Once we start to believe it, it can then enter into our own reality and happen more and more often. It’s as simple as that.
NDERF: Yes, if our beliefs create our reality, then it certainly is important to believe in positive things, and things that serve us, rather than things that work against us. But how do we do that in a world that is seemingly so full of negativity?
Remember I said earlier that I felt that the Universe is within me? The external world is only a reflection of my internal world! A lot of people say that the world is very negative, but that’s not exactly true. Look around you. EVERYTHING exists simultaneously in this universe, the positive as well as negativity. There is poverty, there is wealth, there is sickness, there is health, there is love, and there is hatred and fear, and there is happiness and there is despair, and so on. And there is NOT more negative than positive. It’s just because we choose to see the world in this way, that it feels like there is more negative. And the more we choose to see it this way, and give it our focus and energy, the more of it we draw into our lives, and create it in our own personal reality. Remember, I believe that this reality is created by mass consciousness. That’s what I felt I broke through, during my NDE. Each of us as individuals ALWAYS has the choice to choose what we want to see and believe as reality.
NDERF: So if someone’s life was not working for them, how would you suggest they turn it around?
I love this question. It gives me the opportunity to talk about the importance of unconditional self-love. I would strongly suggest practicing unconditional self-love.
Remember, I said that the universe is only a reflection of me. If I am frustrated with the way life is working for me, it is futile to change the external elements without looking at what’s going on internally. A lot of us are very negative towards ourselves. We are our own worst enemies. The first thing I would say is to stop judging yourself and stop beating yourself up for where you are in your life right now. If I am finding that I am constantly frustrated with people, and judging them, it is because that is how I am internally treating myself all the time. I am only expressing outward my own inner dialogue to myself. The more I love myself unconditionally, the easier it is for me to see beauty in this world, and beauty in others.
If I can love myself and not judge myself, and see my own perfection, then I will automatically see all these in others! And the more I love myself, the more love I will have for others. It’s not possible to love another more than you love yourself. Contrary to popular belief that it’s selfish to love yourself, this is just so not true. We cannot give what we do not have.
No matter where you are, it is only the culmination of your thoughts and beliefs up to that point. And you can change it. Remember, I reversed my cancer at the 11th hour. Even when the doctors said it was too late, it was still not too late. So the first thing is to realize that it is NEVER too late to do something, or change anything. It’s important to see the power that the present moment holds in turning our life around.
If you believe in things like “like attracts like” then the absolute best way to attract what’s best for you is to love yourself to the point where you are filled with love, and will only attract to your life everything that confirms this belief about yourself. It’s actually very simple, really.